Club ICU

I kept thinking about the last lines of the movie " American Beauty" in the ICU over the last 4 days. I just can't believe how good and kind most people really are. The waiting room at UMA hospital never had less than 15 people at any given moment. Usually about 25 though. People stopped working.People worked and then rushed to the hospital and stayed until midnight. People brought a buffet of food everyday. (Believe me it shows too. Not a whole lot to do but wait and talk and EAT.We were laughing that Maggie is going to wake up 30 pounds thinner and we will all be 30 pounds more.) Really though, I am profoundly effected by the kindness in most humans. I am really proud to come from the people I come from too. We are nice. We are nice thoughtful people that put others first.
And we are strong.
For any moment I have ever felt single and alone in the world... I take it all back. I am not alone at all.

(American Beauty, Kevin Spacey voice over)

I had always heard your entire life
flashes in front of your eyes the second
before you die.
(Or someone you love almost does..)

First of all, that one second isn't a
second at all, it stretches on forever,
like an ocean of time.

For me, it was lying on my back at Boy
Scout camp, watching falling stars...
(Or building elaborate caterpillar hotels in the woods in Oregon)

And yellow leaves, from the maple trees,
that lined my street...
(Fresh cut grass after a mid-western thunderstorm at Dad’s house)

Or my grandmother's hands, and the way
her skin seemed like paper...
(And her sheets smelled better than anyone else’s ever could)

And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's
brand new Firebird...
(The first time I swam in warm ocean water)

And Janie...
(And Sean)

And Janie...
(And Johnny)

(And Tony, Alan, Jasper and Greg...ha ha.)

I guess I could be pretty pissed off
about what happened to me... but it's
hard to stay mad, when there's so much
beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel
like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's
too much, my heart fills up like a
balloon that's about to burst..
and then I remember to relax, and stop
trying to hold on to it, and then it
flows through me like rain and I can't
feel anything but gratitude for every
single moment of my stupid little life...