Big Adventure

This is where I am at right now. I got stuck, like a fish hook, this AM on a rose thorn exiting the drive way. It hurts right now,14 hours later. I burned my hand badly just now trying to light an almost wax-less candle with a half dead lighter. I have to do 6 hours of massage tomorrow starting at 11am and I can't sleep because the PRCB just left for the umpteenth time at a bit before midnight without a decent explanation. He insists on it being a "creature of habit" thing and my abandonment issue. SORRY CHUCK. I am sensing way more malevolent behaviors here. Masked in a triple reverse twist flip psychology. It may not be other women, it may be more ominous. I dare not vocalize in this forum but it is something.. and if I have learned one thing in my 36 years it is that there is no such thing as paranoia, only some level of intuition and real is real and questionable is worth questioning. I trust me. I do know that he can't stay away from me because I challenge the very heart of him. I know that I am in a city temporarily deemed purgatory. Gray matter within gray matter. I can't leave, I can't really stay, I don't have a choice- for the first time EVER.
Too old to leave, to smart to stay, too confused to write about it. So I'll wait this one out and try to not become a "crazy cat lady".
BUT I got asked today to be the assistant on photo shoots and get taught "everything I want to know about photography" and get paid for it too. I start Monday at 9am. Are you kidding me??
AND the PRCB is still worth my time because my head fits in between his pecs and his vocabulary is better than mine. What a sucker I am.
What an awfully big adventure surviving another one of you this will be.
He slapped my ass as he walked out the door and said " Keep it up, but you and I know we are just a few steps away from falling in love". Now, why'd he have to go and say that?